CHAPTER 2

ATTITUDE

The stuff that makes the difference

Attitude is the way we see and respond to life. It is our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual approach, disposition and posture towards life. Instilling the right approach, disposition and posture towards life is fundamental to the work and study we are undertaking in this book. When everything is taken away from us, the right attitude alone can carry us through.

The more I study human development and empowerment, the more I appreciate the importance of having the right attitude towards life. Attitude is one of the most important tools towards self-actualization and self-empowerment. It is even more important than money, knowledge and education. It is also more important than giftedness, appearance and skill. Attitude can single-handedly make or break a person, a team, a church, an organization, a home or a relationship. It is also the single most important factor in interpersonal relationships.

The essential thing about attitude is for us to understand that we have a choice each day about the attitude we will embrace for that day. Further, we have a choice about every situation and circumstance in our lives. We can choose to give an empowering interpretation to occurrences, or on the other hand, we can choose to give them a dis-empowering interpretation. The problem is that we are programmed in a culture that has pre-conceived interpretations for many situations. We then react to situations and circumstances without giving them conscious thought. The challenge for us is to find new interpretations that empower us rather than dis-empower us.

In life misfortunes happen. It is not what happens to us, but how we deal with what happens that makes the difference. Most of the unfortunate circumstances in our lives potentially have an advantage hidden in them. Life can be seen as an up and down ride. Most of us only want to experience the ups, so we go around complaining about the downs, not realizing that the downs can be “blessings in disguise”. We should remember that “the good times are for the pocket and the bad times for the heart.” Therefore we should not run from the challenges in life, but rather face them with eagerness to receive the message they bring.

I am convinced that my life is ten percent of what happens to me, and ninety percent how I react to it. Most of us live our lives on automatic pilot. We never seem to make the appropriate response to the challenges that life has to offer. We must realize that “if we always do what we have always done we will always get what we have always got.”

While we cannot change our past and the fact that people will act in a certain way, and we cannot change the inevitable, what we can do, however, is play the only string we have, and that is, our attitude toward life.

I am reminded of the story told by Victor Frankl in his book Man's Search for Meaning about people in a Nazi concentration camp. Frankl wrote:

“We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.

And there were always choices to make. Every day, every hour, offered the opportunity to make a decision, a decision which determined whether you would or would not submit to those powers which threatened to rob you of your very self, your inner freedom; which determined whether or not you would become the plaything of circumstance.”

Attitude is such an important thing that we cannot leave it up to chance. We must keep a conscious moment-by-moment watch on our attitude. We must make an effort; to implement regimens and practices, which will assist us in having the right attitude in our daily lives. These will include first of all, having the right people in our lives. This also goes for the people we associate with. If we want to have a great attitude about life, we must associate with people who possess great attitudes. I often tell people that seventy five percent of their success depends on who they marry. If you marry someone with a positive attitude it will rub off on you. If on the other hand, you marry someone with a negative attitude it will equally rub off on you.

I marvel about the incredible attitude Nelson Mandela must have had to survive twenty-seven years in a South African prison. And after all that punishment and suffering, he emerged as his nation's leader with the tenacity and loving nature to forgive his persecutors. Attitude is like that - if you maintain a positive attitude and have some patience, your goals and dreams will be realized.

The easiest way to maintain a positive attitude is to discover your purpose in life and endeavor to accomplish it.  One has to be willing to engage in an ongoing practice towards a worthy cause with a positive attitude, if one wants to lead a successful life.

Your attitude is the way you think about your life and all it contains. It is your approach and perspective on life. It influences your actions and reactions. It affects your relationship with others and your relationship with your self. Because your attitude reflects your thinking, it is the beginning point of creation and possibility. They are first and foremost the residents of your mind and both of them are released by your attitude. People who soar have the courage to insist on positive attitude in their life. They understand that life offers many surprises, but believe that within those surprises are lessons and that from the lessons, comes the wisdom.

A positive attitude requires courage, because it is the decision not to be defeated no matter what challenge is present. What is truly magnificent is the person who no matter what card of life he or she has been dealt still wins because the game is played with acceptance, intelligence, wit, humor and integrity. If we could only let go of our fears, then our spirits would be triumphant over that which could disable us from flying through life at the full range of our capacities.

A positive attitude does not dissolve life's problems. Rather it is an effective and constructive approach to dealing with them. The positive thinker accepts life as it unfolds without trying to control it or having to conform to limited human expectations. The positive thinker regards life as an adventure where the rewards are in the risk and the pleasure is in responding to the challenges. A positive attitude is good insurance for life. Whether life is privileged or painful has nothing to do with our circumstances or our situations. It is a direct reflection of our attitude. As difficult, painful and unpredictable as life can be it cannot defeat us, unless we choose to be defeated.  You need only take charge of your thoughts and you can do what you will with them. This is not being out of touch with reality - this is courage. It is also the only way you can afford to think, if you are to manifest the vision you have for your life.

I would like to share with you the following seven principles for attitudinal healing. If you choose to take these principles seriously and follow them on a daily basis, you will be surprised to see your goals magically realized before your eyes.

Principles of Attitudinal Healing

1.      The essence of our being is love.   There is no energy more powerful than love. As you learn to love you are bringing into your life the most potent force in the universe. Love creates miracles, heals all wounds, and purifies all lower energies. You cannot lose by giving love away, for the more you give, the more you receive in return. When you choose love you bring about the highest good for yourself and others. Offering love is always the right choice. With love you can transform, purify, neutralize, lift, expand, connect, harmonize, balance, amplify, magnetize, accept, and add light and beauty to all the energy around you. With love you can transform or be transparent to people's emotions and thoughts, neutralize “negative” energy, and harmonize with all life in the universe. Importantly, since love is eternal, we need not see death as fearful, but a transition from one stage to another. We can also choose and direct ourselves to perceive others as either extending love or giving a call for help. All energy in the universe responds positively to love. Therefore, we need only love. LOVE! LOVE! LOVE!

2.       Health is inner peace. Healing is releasing and letting go. Most of us have blockages in our physical, emotional and mental bodies that cause disease, discomfort and pain. We hold on to most of these blockages unconsciously. We then get stuck in a rut and even when we cure the physical illnesses sometimes we do not heal and the illness comes back in the same form or even in a different form. True healing only occurs when one's spirit releases negative thoughts and emotions towards oneself and others. We must choose and direct ourselves to be peaceful inside, regardless of what is happening outside.

3.      Giving and receiving are the same. We are continually drawing into our lives what we give and expect.

Whether we attract good or bad, it is governed by the same principle. You have probably made the remark, “Oh, yes, it is just as I expected.” And especially when some unpleasant condition or circumstances arose. You invited the condition just because you gave out the thought of expecting it. You can also expect good to appear on the same principle and you can help it to come to pass by the method of your preparation.  Many failures occur because we do not force our expectation to keep apace with our desires. Very often we desire one thing and expect in our hearts another, which creates confusion. When a mind is confused, there is no cooperation, nor is there the united strength to attract the force it requires. Positive mental radiation will drive away all clouds of doubt and fear with confident expectation that all things will work all right. You operate a law that can and will put all things right. There is a power within, greater by far than any difficulty that you can ever meet; that power will never fail to see us through.

4.      Let go of the past and the future and live fully in the moment. Live in appreciation and gratitude. Invite change into your life, if only through your attitude. And remind yourself continually of the message of all spiritual masters worth their salt. Keep your spirit in the present time. Jesus said, “leave the dead and get on with life” and “let the dead bury the dead.” And Buddha said, “there is only now.” Now is the only time there is and each instant is for giving and loving. When we live in the moment we get to experience each person, situation or event as new, without coloration from the past. In order to live in the moment we must be conscious, aware and alert. When we are not living consciously we are then led by our subconscious memory and we live from our history. When we live subconsciously, we have an attitude by default. On the other hand when we live consciously we have an attitude by design.

5.      Learn to love yourself and others by forgiving rather than judging and blaming. Forgiveness is not the same as telling the other person who harms you, “it is okay,” “I forgive you” which is more or less the way most people view it. Rather, forgiveness is a complex act of consciousness, one that liberates the psyche and soul from the need for personal vengeance and the perception of oneself as a victim. More than releasing from blame the people who caused our wounds, forgiveness means releasing the control that the perception of victim hood has over our psyches. In fact when we forgive the other we are actually doing ourselves a bigger favor. The liberation that forgiveness generates comes in the transition to higher state of consciousness – not just in theory, but energetically, psychologically and biologically. In fact the consequence of a genuine act of forgiveness

      borders on the miraculous.     

6.      In everything give thanks. Gratitude is a powerful space to be in. Gratitude is a state of thankfulness and appreciation for life and the entire universe. When we operate from this state of consciousness, we assume a positive attitude and demeanor. We can be grateful and appreciative of everyone in our life, because everyone is in our life to teach us something. Even our perceived enemies are in our lives to teach us something. Likewise, every event, situation and circumstance occurs in our lives to teach us a lesson. Therefore we can be in a state of perpetual gratefulness.

7.      Acceptance of your circumstances and situations as they are is one of the most important ways of maintaining a good attitude. Most of us go through life whining and complaining about situations, circumstances and events in our life. Living this way totally dis-empowers us and causes frustration and disappointment. Accepting life as it is - is wanting what you have in your life, as opposed to trying to satisfy an insatiable appetite.  If we go through life, fighting, opposing, resisting, arguing, we are bound to meet with many obstacles and are likely to become so occupied fighting them that we lose sight of our real objective. The power of acceptance is not to fight the obstacles but to bless them and move on. Jesus said: “love your enemies; bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you; pray for them that despitefully use you.” To extend a loving thought, feeling or action to anyone or anything removes the opposition and enmity that once seemed there. This removal must first be in the person's consciousness. Once the thought of enmity is removed from your consciousness you will not attract the same condition again.